1/18/15 Chatterbox
Betty Kaiser
Going to the mailbox used to be one of life’s pleasures. In
a more personal and un-computerized society, we corresponded across town and
around the world with pen and paper. Telephone calls were expensive but postage
stamps were not. A treasured note
from someone saying ‘hello’ was usually tucked in among the inevitable bills.
Those cards, notes and letters always made my day.
Today, just about the only people saying ‘hello’ to me by snail
mail are not people at all. The mailers are automated computers deep in the
bowels of marketing offices all across the nation. There, clever ad agencies
put together enticing, colorful offers that are mass mailed to millions of
people. At my house they go right in the trash/recycling.
This past year our mailbox has been bombarded with a
ridiculous amount of unwanted catalogs, coupons, credit card offers and
donation requests. Some charities send one or two solicitations a week. Many
add stamps and coins to entice a donation. They are seldom opened. In an effort
to stop the flow, I tried marking them “return to sender.” It made things worse
and they keep coming.
One day I couldn’t stand it any longer. I opened a
solicitation and found a phone number to call and (hopefully) stop the
onslaught. I was told they would be happy to do so but “Mrs. Kaiser, you must understand that
these mailings are prepared months in advance and will take up to 12 weeks to
stop.” I hung up before I said something that I shouldn’t.
Eventually, the mailings dwindled down to once a week
communications. As I stand over the trashcan, slicing and dicing them, I no
longer wonder what some banking institutions are doing with our money. I know.
They’re spending it on soliciting more customers and keeping the post office in
business.
I am an avid magazine subscriber and thanks to some very
nice ‘two-years-for-the-price-of-one’ offers, I often get good deals.
Especially nice are the ‘buy-one-give-one’ gift offers. Obviously (as you will
see) these are cash flow bonanzas for the companies and cash cows for the long
haul.
A couple of years ago I noticed that the due dates for my
Reader’s Digest magazine subscriptions were coming closer and closer together.
December bills for family gift subscriptions were arriving in July. When I
didn’t pay them, the bills kept coming. So I decided the subscriptions must be
expired and wrote a check. The next year I did the same thing.
Guess what? By the time that I caught on to their advance
billing game, everyone still had two years left on subscriptions. I finally
called Customer Service and got it all straightened out. Now I keep a list of
expiration dates.
“Final Notice!” offers without an actual expiration date are
common. An offer to renew my
three-year AARP membership was really annoying. My membership was only one year old when I received a notice
to confirm that I wanted to renew my AARP membership and receive a Free Travel
Bag! I called and complained that the offer was deceptive and they apologized.
Yea, right.
Of course, these solicitations are not just limited to snail
mail. Oh, no. They also come via telephone (email spam is another subject).
Last winter, in one of March’s wild winter storms, our power
was out about 24 hours. As soon as our telephone service was restored, the
phone rang. The caller inquired if everyone was okay and if we were interested
in purchasing a Personal Emergency Response System (PERS) in case this happens
again. In a different state of mind and a different time, I might have been
cordial. Instead, I just told him to remove our name from his calling list and
hung up.
My husband has a product in his workshop for which he
purchases parts on the telephone. When he needs something, he calls and orders
it. If he doesn’t need anything, he doesn’t call. The problem is that if he
doesn’t call every 30 days, they call him — night after night at dinnertime. He
asked to speak to their supervisor and be removed from their call list. They
agreed but still the calls came.
Finally, I got online and ferreted out email addresses for
the corporate office customer service division. A distinctly worded message
protesting their sales tactics resulted in corporate calling me. They assured
me that the sales solicitations would stop. And they did.
Still, in spite of our enrollment in the “Do not call”
program, the other calls continued. So, we threw in the towel and subscribed to
our phone company’s feature that blocks unwanted calls. For a small fee its
message annoys everyone who calls—but it does what we pay for—a great job of
filtering out solicitors and scam artists!
In a last ditch effort to opt out of the trash mail offers
that kept coming, I Googled for some help. I started with http://www.usa.gov/topics/family/privacy-protection/junk-mail.shtml.
Their site suggests that we tell the companies directly to remove our name (an
on-going chore) or call the credit reporting agencies notification system at
1-888-567-8688. This required giving one’s Social Security number.
A final suggestion was to visit the Direct Marketing
Association’s website at: https://www.optoutprescreen.com/opt_form.cgi
I decided to sign up with this one even though it doesn’t
get rave reviews and must be renewed every three years (without an expiration
notice). It was quick and simple and hopefully it will work.
Now, if I could just get friends and family to fill the
mailbox with hand-written treasured notes—I would be a happy girl!
Betty
Kaiser’s Chatterbox is about people, places, family, and other matters of the
heart.
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