Thursday, February 26, 2015

Getting the picture

2/18/15 Chatterbox
Betty Kaiser

Getting the picture

We all like good news. It makes us happy and hopeful. No one likes bad news. It would be nice if we could just ignore the barrage of negative stuff coming across the airwaves. Nice but not realistic. Currently, a respected television anchorman is under fire and in danger of losing his job for not being completely truthful. Here in Ore. our governor has been under fire for ethics violations and resigned under pressure.

On the International scene we have constant, overwhelmingly bad news of undeclared warfare: kidnappings, mass killings, property destruction and starvation. Like you, I have many questions but no answers about these power plays and atrocities. We can’t ignore this stuff nor can we solve the problems. What do we do?

Shortly after the Brian Williams hubbub broke loose, a “Blondie” cartoon caught my eye. It gave me a little perspective on human nature. The scene: It’s a snowy day. Dagwood and his friend Herb are briskly walking to work. Their conversation goes like this:

Dagwood:  “Days like this remind me of being on the veranda at The Grand Hotel in Fiji.”
Herb: “When was that?” (Silence)
Dagwood: “Well, technically, this reminds me of a photo I saw in a travel magazine a long time ago…but you get the picture.”

Well, I get the picture about Williams. All of us from time to time tend to embellish the facts. Maybe it’s shaving a few years off our age. Making our job description sound more important than it is. Coloring our hair. Upping our school GPA. Making our children sound like brainiac angels or whatever. You get the idea. We all do it.

NBC anchorman Brian Williams belatedly confessed that he embellished being in a helicopter hit by a grenade in 2003. Actually, it was the helicopter ahead of his that was hit. Oops! Now Williams has been suspended for 6 months without pay and it remains to be seen if he will come back as anchorman. I doubt it.

Frankly, I did not lose any respect for him over this. I believe that initially he was caught up in the moment and that it may have felt like his chopper was hit. Unfortunately, he never clarified his initial statement with the truth. Millions of viewers will not calculate that the majority of his career has been honest and straight arrow. They have lost complete trust in him due to this falsehood (and possibly others).

Oregon’s Gov. John Kitzhaber’s personal and political life has been under fire for months. His fiancĂ©, Cylvia Hayes served as the state’s first lady. As a paid consultant outside government, it was alleged that her relationship with the governor was helping her land contracts for her business. This, among other things, chipped away at his credibility. At first the governor refused all calls to resign, saying, “I have broken no laws.” He abruptly resigned Feb. 13, stating he had become a liability to the office. No doubt there is more to come.

The above battles are mostly political. They are sad situations but not hopeless. All concerned will emerge with their egos bruised and battered but live to work again. There are solutions. The following scenarios are real life and death battles. Wanton killing and power grabs characterize many areas of the world.

The so-called Islamic State of Iraq and Syria (ISIS) is a huge topic of concern all around the world. This barbaric terrorist group is trying to establish a conservative Islamic state to encompass the Arab world. An empire. They financed their war against Infidels by taking over Mosul, the third largest city in Iraq and seizing more than $400 million from city banks to bankroll their evil empire.

How evil are they? Well, women and children who did not fit the mold were their first victims. The United Nations reported ISIS systematically killing, torturing and raping the families and children of minority groups in Iraq. Their methods included mass executions of boys, reports of beheadings, crucifixions of children and burying children alive. 

ISIS’ goal is to rule the entire world by fear. Their horrific beheading of hostages from the United States was followed by the gruesome beheadings of Japanese hostages and immolation of a Jordanian pilot captive. ISIS loves publicity and toys with the captives’ family emotions. The young American woman who was evidently ‘given’ to their leader was still killed. The end is always death. That’s evil.

And what is really going on in the Ukraine? I get it but I don’t get it. Thanks to Vladimir Putin and Russia’s land grab history, Russian troops and tanks are pulverizing buildings in the Ukraine. Helpless citizens are living underground in rubble and starvation. Why is Putin doing this?  Because he can. He’s power hungry. Can anyone stop the madness? Nope. No one wants to start a war with nuclear-armed Russia. That’s the way it looks to me. What do you think?

“The world is going to hell in a hand basket” (i.e. deteriorating rapidly) was one of my dad’s frequent comments during times of war and economic hardship. Looking at the events of this era I can only agree that things don’t look good. The hope is that future generations will serve and not destroy their fellow humans.

In that spirit, I offer this perspective from the comic “Beetle Bailey”:

Beetle: “I don’t get it…mankind has been at war since the beginning of time. What’s wrong with mankind? Why can’t we get smart and figure it out?”
Soldier: “Because every 30 years there’s a new mankind.”

Now I get the picture.

Betty Kaiser’s Chatterbox is about people, places, family, and other matters of the heart.

Thursday, January 22, 2015

How old is too old?

1/21/15 Chatterbox
Betty Kaiser

Last week I celebrated another birthday. I use the term “celebrate” loosely. In this seventh decade of life, I am struggling with enjoying aging and the losses that accompany it. And I’m not alone, so I know that I just exposed the elephant in the room. The truth is that aging gracefully is an art that many of us have yet to master.

Some things don’t bother me at all. I enjoy having young people open heavy doors for me at shopping centers and saying, “After you, ma’m.” A senior discount at restaurants is nice. It’s great that I no longer have to pop out of bed at the crack of dawn to be at work by 7 a.m. And I’m happy if I’m not invited to every party in town.

I started turning gray at 40, so I don’t even miss my beautiful black hair with red highlights. At this age—except for the ‘natural’ blonds among us—our hair all looks alike anyway. In fact, I joke that when my friends get together we look like Q-tips! And while I’m not happy about my wrinkles, I’m not contemplating plastic surgery.

I am, however, being pulled kicking and screaming into an era of less energy and forgetfulness. Or, as I believe Erma Bombeck (my all time favorite columnist) said, “Of all the things I’ve lost in life, I miss my mind the most!”

Isn’t that the truth? Once we reach the age of 70, most of us look back fondly on our golden years. The years in which we remembered everyone’s names and wondered what the heck was wrong with our parents who struggled to remember names of people and places. “Oh, that was Virginia, don’t you remember?” we would piously spout.

Now we are the ones struggling with memory lapses. My husband and I often have a conversation that goes like this:

 Me: “Yesterday I saw the girl with six kids that we went to church with in California.” Hubby: “ Who was that?” Me: “Oh, you know, she had long red hair and lived near us.” Hubby: “I have no idea who you’re talking about.” Me: “Of course you do. our daughter used to babysit for them. Her husband was a pharmacist.” Hubby: “Oh, yeah, his name was…I forget.” Three days later we remember that her name is Jan and his name was Jim. It's frustrating.

I suppose that turning 100 years old is something to get excited about. As a reporter, I covered many a centenarian’s birthday. Most of them seemed quite content to just “be.” They are happy to look at where they’ve been and reminisce about the good old days with anyone who cares to listen. Their contribution is wisdom.

Fortunately, I’m not there yet. I often say that I am in the middle age of old age. Mentally I’m pretty active. I’m always planning our next trip, keeping up with what’s going on in the family, volunteering, teaching and writing. Physically, I’ve really slowed down. Exercise no longer consists of a three times weekly aerobics class and seven mile hikes or bike rides. Now I have a stretching routine, walk the dogs over to Wilson Creek Park and hop on my stationary bike.

I’m not alone in my aging frustration. Many others wonder if there is life after 70 or 90. Surely there is something more for us to do than watch TV. It can’t be too late for us to make a contribution to the greater good of mankind. So when are we “too old”? At what age do we sit back and say, “I give up. Let someone else do the work.”

Tucked away in a book on my desk, I found this list of famous people who didn’t know it was time to stop being creative or sharing what they do best when they turned the corner into old age:

At 81, Founding Father Benjamin Franklin engineered the diplomacy that led to the adoption of the U.S. Constitution.

At 82, Winston Churchill wrote the four-volume work, “A History of the English Speaking Peoples.”

At 82, Leo Tolstoy completed “I Cannot Be Silent.”

At 83, Johann Wolfgang von Goethe completed “Faust.”

At 88, Cellist Pablo Casals was still performing cello concerts

At 89, Pianist Arthur Rubinstein gave one of his greatest recitals in New York’s Carnegie Hall.

At 90, Cubist and collage artist Pablo Picasso still drew and sculpted.

At 91, Samon de Valera served as president of Ireland.

At 93, George Bernard Shaw wrote “Farfetched Fables.

At 98, Renaissance master Titian painted “Battle Lepants.”

At 100, Grandma Moses was still painting. She began at age 76!

Looking at the above list kind of makes me feel like a whiner. Sure I’m older and I can’t do the things that I used to do. But am I old enough to do nothing? Obviously not. Looking at the above list tells me that we have something to share at every age.

When we were young, we waited for life to begin. We were always looking forward to next week, next month and next year. Now that we’re older and have less time, our fountain of youth has changed. It is found in today. Tomorrow may not come. Our joys must be found in the moments of today.

The struggle against aging may be futile but we can still live a full life. As my husband likes to say, “Old age is putting on new wheels and going in a different direction.” I say that we just keep doing what we love…but at a slower pace.

My morning mantra comes from the Psalms: “This is the day that the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it.” An attitude of gratitude can make any day better.

Can I get an Amen?

Betty Kaiser’s Chatterbox is about people, places, family, and other matters of the heart.

Tuesday, December 30, 2014

A Christmas story

12/24/14 Chatterbox

Betty Kaiser

“Merry Christmas, My Friend”

It’s Christmas Eve and time to celebrate. At its core, Christmas is spiritual—a religious holiday. Sometimes we need to be reminded that it is more than glitz, glamour and gluttony. Christians all over the world are celebrating the birth of Christ. But that doesn’t leave anyone out. Because everyone can celebrate peace, love and joy. And in America we can all rejoice that we live in the land of the free and the brave.

It has long been my holiday tradition to find and share an old-fashioned, feel-good Christmas story. One that will warm our hearts as it reminds us that Christmas about things of the heart. My story time frame is usually around the Great Depression era because so many had so little but appreciated what they did have—family.

This year’s story salutes the family bond from a military perspective. It’s a Christmas tribute to those who serve our country (and us). A tearjerker written from Santa’s perspective. I first saw it years ago in a greeting card from the USO. The author, James M. Schmidt, was a Lance Corporal stationed in Washington D.C. in 1986. A Marine, he was inspired to write a Christmas poem by a Marine for Marines. He hung it on the door of the Marine Barracks gym.

Later, Lance Corporal Schmidt explained how he pounded it out on a typewriter while awaiting the commanding officer’s annual Christmas holiday decoration inspection. The other leathernecks strung lights for the contest. His contribution was a poem for his section. It was so touching that copies were made and passed around all over the world. Soon it was published in the Marine Corp Gazette and later in Leatherneck Magazine in 1991.

Over the years, the poem was adjusted (dare I say plagiarized?) and claimed by other branches of the Armed Forces. The Internet version is Army. (Well, I think it’s the Army. The verse mentions a soldier.) Other versions are credited to Marines stationed in Okinawa and Afghanistan and one version to an Air Force Lieutenant Colonel. And if you are Navy, there is even a “Sailor’s Christmas” piece. You can find it at:

The following version is the original, as printed in “Leatherneck” back in 1991. Schmidt, the author, was evidently a good Marine as well as a writer. He was a recruit and infantry school honor graduate and selected for security at Camp David, Md., under Ronald Reagan. He is now an attorney in Los Angeles. May God bless us all.

Merry Christmas, My Friend
By James M. Schmidt, a Marine Lance Corporal,
 stationed in Washington D.C., in 1986

Twas the night before Christmas, he lived all alone,
In a one bedroom house made of plaster & stone.

I had come down the chimney, with presents to give
and to see just who in this home did live.

As I looked all about, a strange sight I did see,
no tinsel, no presents, not even a tree.
No stocking by the fire, just boots filled with sand.
On the wall hung pictures of a far distant land.

With medals and badges, awards of all kind,
a sobering thought soon came to my mind.
For this house was different, unlike any I'd seen.
This was the home of a U.S. Marine.

I'd heard stories about them, I had to see more,
so I walked down the hall and pushed open the door.
And there he lay sleeping, silent, alone,
curled up on the floor in his one-bedroom home.

He seemed so gentle, his face so serene,
not how I pictured a U.S. Marine.
Was this the hero, of whom I’d just read?
Curled up in his poncho, a floor for his bed?

His head was clean-shaven, his weathered face tan.
I soon understood this was more than a man.
For I realized the families that I saw that night,
owed their lives to these men, who were willing to fight.

Soon around the Nation, the children would play,
and grown-ups would celebrate on a bright Christmas day.
They all enjoyed freedom, each month and all year,
because of Marines like this one lying here.

I couldn’t help wonder how many lay alone,
on a cold Christmas Eve, in a land far from home.
Just the very thought brought a tear to my eye.
I dropped to my knees and I started to cry.

He must have awoken, for I heard a rough voice,
"Santa, don't cry, this life is my choice
I fight for freedom, I don't ask for more.
My life is my God, my country, my Corps."

With that he rolled over, drifted off into sleep,
I couldn't control it, I continued to weep.

I watched him for hours, so silent and still.
I noticed he shivered from the cold night's chill.
So I took off my jacket, the one made of red,
and covered this Marine from his toes to his head.
Then I put on his T-shirt of scarlet and gold,
with an eagle, globe and anchor emblazoned so bold.
And although it barely fit me, I began to swell with pride,
and for one shining moment, I was Marine Corps deep inside.

I didn't want to leave him so quiet in the night,
this guardian of honor so willing to fight.
But half asleep he rolled over, and in a voice clean and pure,
said, "Carry on, Santa, it's Christmas Day, all secure."
One look at my watch and I knew he was right,
Merry Christmas my friend, Semper Fi and goodnight.

Betty Kaiser’s Chatterbox is about people, places, family, and other matters of the heart. 

Saturday, November 15, 2014

Battle of Good versus Evil continues

11/12/14 Chatterbox
Betty Kaiser

Battle of good versus evil continues

I lost my cool last week. Big time. Sitting in my office reading the International news on my computer screen I came completely unglued. No, it wasn’t about the Nov. election results, Obama Care, the Ebola quarantine debate, Honey Boo-boo or any other controversial topic consuming us here in the U.S.A.

My tirade was directed at an arrogant, bloodthirsty sadist clear across the world in Nigeria. I cried. I ranted and raved and wished that I knew how to apply some vile curses. The target was Abubaker Shekau, a Nigerian Islamic extremist and the leader of Boko Haram. A name that means: Western Education is sinful.

Of course, he couldn’t hear my hysteria and he wouldn’t have cared if he did. Extremists only hear one voice and that is their own.

Boko Haram was founded in 2002 by Mohammed Yusuf (now dead). It advocates a strict form of Sharia law, seeks to establish a fully Islamic state in Nigeria. It opposes education and the westernizing of Nigeria—half of which is Muslim and the other half Christian.

Coexistence is not possible. Boko Haram is interested only in “battle, hitting, striking and killing with the gun, which we look forward to like a tasty meal,” said Shekau.

Until this year, millions of people, myself included, weren’t aware of this group because of the many other power struggles going on around the globe. Our attention was diverted to Nigeria on April 15 when 276 girls and young women were kidnapped from a boarding school in the remote village of Chibok. Some escaped. Most didn’t. And since then dozens of others have been kidnapped.

Appeals for their release came from around the world. Social media posted “#Bring Back Our Girls Now” to create awareness, spark conversation and demonstrations about the kidnappings. It was hoped that somehow this would encourage the families, especially the vulnerable children. The girls remained captives.

Thus, my rage when on Nov. 1, leader Shekau gleefully announced to the world that the girls (children!) had been converted to Islam and married off. Then, he dug the knife a little deeper and said to the parents, “If you knew the state your daughters are in today, it might lead some of you…to die from grief.”

That statement put me over the edge. I have sometimes been accused of being a Pollyanna but I do know EVIL when I see it. I wanted to destroy this guy and save the girls. Finally, I calmed down. I know this is a God-sized problem. And it is time to pray. The Bible says if you are disheartened…to pray without ceasing. That’s what I do daily. Please join me in praying for these girls.

On the other side of evil is goodness. Evil means “profoundly immoral and malevolent; wicked, bad, wrong, dishonorable, villainous, malicious” and more. Good means “that which is morally right; virtue, righteous, integrity, fine, superior, quality” and more.

Well, just as I didn’t have far to look for evil, I quickly found examples of goodness. Right here in Cottage Grove, I heard about a man who couldn’t afford to get dentures. One day, out of the blue, a complete stranger struck up a conversation with him, handed him a card and told him to go get his teeth fixed—and he would pick up the tab!

My friend Jeannie volunteers for Pro-Bone-O. It operates two free clinics per month and provides free veterinary services, food and supplies for companion pets of the homeless. Another friend, Patty, has a clothing ministry. She collects gently worn clothes and gives them to those in need.

Churches are always a good source of goodness. There are many churches that go on mission trips to Mexico and other countries. Their mission is usually to preach the gospel by first providing for people’s physical needs: food, clothes, shelter and medicine. Help. Not harm.

First Baptist Church in Albuquerque was on such a mission when they discovered a young boy with a massive, fluid filled venus lymphangioma on his shoulder that literally has taken over his upper body. The area in which he lived was so dangerous that Homeland Security picked up him and his parents and brought them to the states. Thanks to the church he will have the surgery to remove the tumor and reconstruct his shoulder bone. It will be a long haul recovery but he will have his life restored—because people cared.

Human Rights Watch says Boko Haram has killed more than 7,000 people; kidnapped and enslaved an unknown number and displaced at least 650,000 civilians from their homes. They use abductions, rape, forced labor and marriage as weapons of war. They plan to continue this rampage and carnage of innocent people until they are martyred and go to their version of paradise. It’s sick!

In the meantime, the virus Ebola has been running rampant in Western Africa. The latest statistics from the CDC confirm 13,042 cases with 4,818 deaths. As horrible as these numbers are, there is hope. Billionaires like Bill Gates (who puts his money where his mouth is) are investing in vaccines and drugs to prevent the virus and others like it from becoming recurring epidemics.

Organizations like Doctors without Borders and individual medical teams are flying into the Ebola ravaged areas from around the globe to heal and comfort. Recently, Samaritan’s Purse chartered a 757 jumbo jet to airlift 100 tons of supplies to the villages for basic needs, feeding, hydration and sanitation. Tens of thousands of lives will be saved—not lost—because of people who are caring not killers.

From the beginning of time there has been a battle between good and evil. It continues today. But my money is on the side of goodness to prevail. Pray for peace in the hearts, minds and souls of all mankind. And the Golden Rule to prevail.

Betty Kaiser’s Chatterbox is about people, places, family, and other matters of the heart.

Thursday, October 23, 2014

Small town project = Big time decisions and price tag

10/15/14 Chatterbox
Betty Kaiser

For months, our town has been buzzing with pros and cons about the proposed Cottage Grove Main St. Refinement Plan.  Tonight, the planning commission will convene a public meeting at 7:30 p.m. at City Hall to consider the latest revision of the plan, including the controversial tree removal segment.

Are you coming to the meeting? Or have you seen the plan? If not, check it out at Visually, I find the proposed changes to our Main St. landscape very sterile. Thirty years from now visitors will know exactly when the renovations took place. On the other hand, it addresses practical aspects that should have been done years ago.

Those positive changes include removing the crown that has built up in the middle of Main St., better drainage, upgrading sidewalks and crosswalks to ADA standards and more. Personally, I don’t agree with some of the proposals like redoing All America Square but I’m sure looking forward to no longer scraping our car doors on the sidewalks.

This is a small town project fraught with emotion and a big price tag. Naturally, the rumor mill has been working overtime.

So let’s put one rumor to rest. I have repeatedly heard this statement: “This plan is a done deal. These public meetings are just a formality. ‘They’ don’t care what we want. There is no reason to attend.” I heard this so many times that in true reporter fashion I took my questions to City Planner Amanda Ferguson.

I asked her if the revamped Main St. meeting was just a formality or if there was still a place for public input. I asked if the plan could still be altered to reflect both the city’s needs and the public wants or if it was a “package deal” that we had to accept or reject. After all, if there were no flexibility (as rumors suggest), there would not be reason for any of us to show up. Amanda immediately set me straight.

She said, “Certainly we want public input. (This is a work in progress.) It’s just a plan. It’s not code. It’s not regulation. It’s not finalized. It’s not been legislated. It’s just a recommendation. Plans are never final until they are final. Plans are subject to change and I fully expect that there will be changes to this one and it will be referred back and forth to (other) committees.”

Amanda also reminded me that this is government that we’re dealing with and it could be years before all of this comes to fruition. There will be more meetings, more changes and of course, searches for funding. The actual project is expected to cost millions of dollars and could take years to pursue the funds one block at a time. So there you have it. It’s just a plan and it’s complicated.

 “Adopt a plan and stick to it.” I found that statement buried in one of the Main St. documents. It is a number one goal of the project.  That’s good advice for all of us. This Main St. remodel is going to define us for decades. Come to this meeting prepared to articulate your idea for the plan. To do that you will have to distill your idea to its essence. Be succinct and direct. Or, as my neighbor Sally used to say, “Eat the meat and throw out the bones.”

Frankly, I don’t want to be on the losing end of another battle. Many of us backed the carousel project and we still watched it go down the drain. We tried to save the Dr. Pierce Barn and failed. Well, now I want to keep Tree City USA green on Main St. I want us to look like our name not some inner city redevelopment. I’ll be at the meeting.

Charm is the operative word for Cottage Grove. People like looking at the past. Most find us to be charming and hospitable. We are not a sleek lines and modern architecture town. That’s why so many groups advocate a historic district that reflects the warmth and history of the early 20th century. I agree.

But refinement is not bad. In fact, bringing things up to code and cleaning up the roads and sidewalks is a plus to add to the attraction of our murals, museums and covered bridges. Just don’t change our personality.

So what do you think? Our town needs your input. It’s human nature to mumble and grumble when we disagree about things that are either near and dear to our hearts or going to cost us money. But it’s not enough to just complain to yourself or your friends. You have to make your opinions known in a larger forum and work with your allies.

Are you coming to the meeting? Well, if you want your voice to be heard by something other than the four walls of your house then get up out of your easy chair, turn off the television and come to City Hall. Say hello to your neighbors, make new friends, mend some fences and work together to fashion the Main Street Refinement Plan in such a way as to make us all proud of downtown for years to come.

P.S. Remember: “It’s just a plan.” Get involved. Be patient. Be nice.

Betty Kaiser’s Chatterbox is about people, places, family, and other matters of the heart. Contact her at 942-1317 or via e-mail —

Questions for a rainy day

9/17/14 Chatterbox
Betty Kaiser

After a long hot summer of company, cooking, canning and unending yard work, I’m beat— bone weary and brain dead. Maybe you are too. So it’s time to share a column of emails to help us all smile, relax a little and enjoy the coming rain.

The first group of thoughts I filed under “Why?” No answers just head-scratching questions. In fact, I ask myself the first question every time I drive I5 between Cottage Grove and Eugene. After that, the thoughts range from the ridiculous to the sublime.

Why do cars on the freeway rush up to your bumper at 75 mph, go around you and then slow down to 55 mph?

Why do supermarkets make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front? 

Why do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in our driveways and put our useless junk in the garage?

Ever Wonder Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?

Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed? 

Why don't you ever see the headline 'Psychic Wins Lottery'? 

Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word?

Why is it that doctors and attorneys call what they do 'practice'? 

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavoring, and dish washing liquid made with real lemons?

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes? 

Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes?  Why don’t they make the whole plane out of that stuff?? 

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains? 

Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together? 

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal? 

Why do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke? (Well, I understand that completely!)

Now we come to a challenging quiz from my sister-in-law. She says, “Today is National Mental Health Day. You can do your part by remembering to send this email to at least one genius challenged person. And don’t send it back to me, I’ve already flunked it once!”

This Genius Quiz is supposedly for people who know everything. There are only nine questions. They are straight questions with straight answers. There are no trick questions but I found a few to be deceptively difficult.

I suggest that you take the quiz, let me know how you do and then file it away under “Questions to ask any know-it-alls in your friends or family.” No peeking allowed! Answers are at the bottom. Here we go:

1. Name the one sport in which neither the spectators nor the participants know the score or the leader until the contest ends.

2. What famous North American landmark is constantly moving backward?

3 Of all vegetables, only two can live to produce on

their own for several growing seasons. All other vegetables must be replanted every year. What are the only two perennial vegetables?

4. What fruit has its seeds on the outside?

5. In many liquor stores, you can buy pear brandy, with a real pear inside the bottle. The pear is whole and ripe, and the bottle is genuine; it hasn't been cut in any way. How did the pear get inside the bottle?

6. Only three words in Standard English begin with the letters ' DW' and they are all common words. Name two of them.

7. There are 14 punctuation marks in English grammar. Can you name at least half of them?

8. Name the only vegetable or fruit that is never sold frozen, canned, processed, cooked, or in any other form except fresh.

9. Name 6 or more things that you can wear on

your feet beginning with the letter 'S.'

Answers To Genius Quiz:

1. The one sport in which neither spectators nor the participants know the score or the leader until the contest ends: Boxing.

2. North American landmark constantly moving backward: Niagara Falls. The rim is worn down about two and a half feet each year because of the millions of gallons of water that rush over it every minute.

3. Only two vegetables that can live to produce on their own for several growing seasons: Asparagus and rhubarb.

4. The fruit with its seeds on the outside: Strawberry.

5. How did the pear get inside the brandy bottle? It grew inside the bottle. The bottles are placed over pear buds when they are small, and are wired in place on the tree. The bottle is left in place for the entire growing season. When the pears are ripe, they are snipped off at the


6. Three English words beginning with DW: Dwarf, dwell and dwindle...

7. Fourteen punctuation marks in English grammar: Period, comma, colon, semicolon, dash, hyphen, apostrophe, question mark, exclamation point, quotation mark, brackets, parenthesis, braces, and ellipses.

8. The only vegetable or fruit never sold frozen, canned, processed, cooked, or in any other form but fresh: Lettuce.

9. Six or more things you can wear on your feet beginning with 'S': Shoes, socks, sandals, sneakers, slippers, skis, skates, snowshoes, stockings, stilts.

So there you have it, folks, your points to ponder for the day. By the way, I tried putting on mascara with my mouth closed. It is possible but I had to continually remind myself to close my mouth. Enough said. Have a good week!

Betty Kaiser’s Chatterbox is about people, places, family, and other matters of the heart.

Saturday, August 23, 2014

You can make someone's day

August 20, 2014 Chatterbox
Betty Kaiser

For a news junkie like myself, this has been a depressing summer. If you just look at the Israel, Gaza, Iraq, Ukraine and Ebola situations, it has been one unbelievably bad news story after another. It’s enough to make you throw up your hands and say, “I give up!”

But as a wife, mother and grandmother, I would like to make things better. You know, do the impossible: Be Wonder Woman! Step in as an arbitrator to make peace. Rescue the weak, the halt and the lame; find homes for the homeless; wave a magic wand to quell wildfires and develop a vaccine to stop Ebola.

Unfortunately, these are all bigger problems than any single person can solve. One particularly bad news day my neighbor called and put life in perspective. Her day had started out badly but she wanted to share how a perfect stranger brought joy. Read to the end of this column, and her experience will make your day.

Her story caused me to start looking around for good news on a small scale. I started with my rant about Tree City USA possibly losing its Main St. trees under the proposed Downtown Refinement Plan.  Well, it seems that many people agreed that we need trees. In fact, they wrote letters and spoke up at public meetings.

As a result, The Community Development Director announced in July that the City had entered into a contract with Sperry Tree Care for a certified arborist to evaluate the existing trees along Main St. and prepare a report. Yea! Sperry Tree Care has been taking care of our property’s trees for years and I know they can be trusted to make wise decisions. Mark your calendars for Oct. 15 at 7 p.m. to receive a first hand update.

Thank you to the citizens, who cared to get involved and shared ideas; and to the city officials that listened.

Kudos also to Travis Palmer, Executive Director of the Cottage Grove Area Chamber of Commerce. His newsletter about the vandalism, graffiti, littering and lack of respect for local properties was sure an eye-opener for me. I shop in town but live outside city limits and was not aware that some of these problems had escalated.

I was particularly surprised about the graffiti or tagging that is going on. Palmer suggested that folks use the CG Smartphone App to report it and other problems to the police department. Last week, thanks to a tipster, a suspect was apprehended who may be responsible for the graffiti. Hopefully, word of his arrest will get around and tagging will cease to be attractive.

Many of us who live outside of town patrol the perimeters of our property and pick up the broken glass, beer cans, fast food wrappers and other trash that people toss out the window as they drive by. No one likes to clean up after the general public but wherever you live you can clean up your own place.

Another big thank you goes to the Humane Society of Cottage Grove. Everyone knows that they do a wonderful job of rescuing animals, fostering, teaching, helping pet owners with spay and neuter coupons and so much more. Our recent spate of hot weather reminded me that they also have lots of helpful printed information.

Recently, I was in the BiMart parking lot when I noticed a small, furry dog panting heavily in a locked car. The temperature outside was 97° F. The windows were rolled up! The pet’s owner was nowhere around. I was just getting ready to go into the store and ask them to make an announcement when the owner returned. I looked at him and shook my head. He glared at me and drove away.

I had in my hand one of the bright red cards from the This ‘n That Shop to put on his windshield. It says (in part), “Your Dog May Be Dying. We understand you meant to be kind in taking your dog with you today but you could be risking his or her life. On hot sunny days, the inside of a car heats up very quickly—dark colored cars especially. The temperature inside can climb to 120° F. in 30 min. even with windows slightly open.

“The inside temperature is too hot for anyone especially your dog…they can withstand a body temperature of 107-8° F. for a very short time before suffering irreparable brain damage or death. If overcome by heat exhaustion immediately soak or wet him or her down with water and take to a veterinarian.” Read and heed, people.

Finally, here is the really good news that you (yes, you!) can make someone’s day. My friend, Pat, who was recently widowed, was at the market when the checker asked how her day was going. She said, “Not very well. I’m having a bad day.” The conversation continued and she repeated the statement. As she got ready to go, the checker said, “Wait a minute, you forgot your wallet! That would make a very bad day!”

Pat made her way out to the car, put the groceries in the trunk and was getting ready to leave. As she turned around, a young man walked up to her with two small bouquets of flowers and said, “I hope this makes your day a little better.” Nearly speechless she thanked him as he walked away. And yes, his kind gesture did make her day better. Mine too.

It reminds me of an old saying that goes something like this: “None of us can do everything but all of us can do something.”

I cannot save the world and neither can you but all of us can make someone’s day. See you at the flower stand.

Betty Kaiser’s Chatterbox is about people, places, family, and other matters of the heart.