Saturday, November 3, 2018

Life and laundry before computers

10/24/18 Chatterbox
Betty Kaiser

Today’s column subject was triggered by a cartoon in the Register Guard newspaper. “Another View” shows a man reading a newspaper headline that says, “Sears files for bankruptcy.”

Sitting on the floor are two little kids. The boy says to his playmate, “My dad says that when he was a kid, they had to drive to a store to buy stuff.” The girl, looking at Amazon on her computer screen replies, “People had it so rough in the olden days.”

At first I laughed and then I said to myself… life without computers was not rough. Computers make some things easy but they don’t solve all problems. Shopping wasn’t really a problem because we had people. Store clerks were your friends. They asked you how they could help, knew your dress size, advised you when something was going on sale and asked how your family was doing.

As I recall, we lived simple, uncomplicated, organized lives using common sense.  Electronic devices didn’t tell us what to do or how to do it.  Our households somewhat followed these simple rules:

Wash on Monday,
Iron on Tuesday,
Mend on Wednesday,
Churn on Thursday,
Clean on Friday,
Bake on Saturday,
Rest on Sunday

Those rules are embroidered on a set of tea towels (aka dish towels) that I received as a bridal shower gift in 1958. In that era of homemaking, we took daily chores very seriously. I still loosely plan my week around the above suggestions. Especially the washing, ironing, cleaning, baking and resting part. I was never very keen on mending or churning.

Again, life was not always easy but it wasn’t for lack of a computer. Doing the laundry? Now that was rough.  In fact, it was a homemaker’s full-time, never ending job. Come along with me as I reminisce about laundry day before running water or electricity.

For generations, washing clothes in a river was the normal way to get clothes clean—even when the river was frozen. Stains were treated at home by soaking in a lye solution, a washing bat or board was used to scrub them. Soap was used sparingly and could be made at home by those who had ashes and fat mixed with salt. The clothes were rinsed in the river and spread on bushes to dry.

Women often didn’t have time to wash clothes weekly. It was hard, time-consuming work. You can imagine that clothes were practically filthy before being washed. Often, groups would get together and help each other at a big laundry session every few weeks or months.

Lee Maxwell is 87 years old and vividly remembers when his family did the laundry. He says, “I remember my grandfather wearing his overalls until they literally stood up. Washing was washing. Today, we don’t really ‘wash.’ We kind of refresh. Your shirts don’t get that dirty.” Lee has a Washing Machine Museum in Eaton, Colorado.

Some areas of the world still wash their clothes in rivers but most of civilization has progressed. Wooden tubs and factory-made metal tubs made the chore easier. Tongs replaced sticks for lifting the washed items. Boxed soaps and starches were introduced in the 1800s. Clotheslines, pegs and pins made drying easier. Women found employment as washers or had a box mangle to do ironing.

By the time I came along, my mother and grandmother were still in the wringer washer era. I remember being scared to death to go out to the wash house where the machine was located. It was dark and damp and creepy out there. The machine was plugged in and hooked up to the hot and cold water of a deep sink. I think it took two people to do a load of laundry. Someone had to feed the clothes through the wringer to another person who caught them on the other side. Then they had to be hung out to dry.

I’m told that early on (before my time), mother’s long hair got caught in a wringer! Fortunately, grandmother was there to quickly unplug the machine before she was scalped!  By the 1950s, washing machines were greatly improved. A Speed Queen pamphlet touted that a 7-load washing could be done in one hour with one tubful of water! To my mind that’s questionable but all women had to be thrilled and I’m sure my mother was over the moon.

A final word on shopping and the cartoon. Chuck’s dad worked for Sears and his mother introduced me to Sears catalog shopping. Over the years, we bought a lot of things that way—curtains, sheets, tools and washing machines.  But our kid’s crib and changing table came from Sears brick and mortar stores as did their clothing. Shopping? Catalogs and neighborhood shops were our computers. No problem.

Betty Kaiser’s Chatterbox

Saturday, September 29, 2018

Bye-bye Bats—for now!

9/26/18 Chatterbox
Betty Kaiser

This has been quite a year for animal stories at our house. The latest one has left me shaking my head and wondering how pioneers ever survived various scourges let alone wolves and bears. It all began a few months ago when I went out to Chuck’s workshop. He works downstairs and I store important things upstairs like holiday décor and outdoor furniture.

A few months ago, I was climbing the stairs when I heard what sounded like a herd of mice scurrying around in the ceiling. Then it was quiet. This happened several times until I asked Chuck to give a listen. He didn’t hear any scurrying noises but to appease me he put out extra mouse traps. We found lots of droppings but caught no mice.

A little background. We are used to dealing with unwanted critters. We bought our house in 1989 and there were mice in the walls. One morning early on I found a bat in the shower! Periodically our dogs would spy a bat flying around the house at night. We would capture it with a butterfly net and take it outside to fly away. A new roof solved the problem. The original cedar shake roof was their home. The day the old roof was removed, hundreds of bats were awakened and darkened the sky overhead. Bye-bye bats? Nope.

Fast forward to summer 2018. The bats were still living outside. We thought all was well. Our son John and grandson Josh were visiting and we were going to Bohemia Park for the Eugene Symphony. Josh and I went upstairs and brought down four folding chairs. They were strangely dirty.  Each one had a large, black blob in the middle of the chair. A closer exam revealed sleeping bats!

You would think that I would get hysterical but I found them kind of fascinating. I took the chairs to some nearby trees, moved the bats and we went to the park. End of story? Not by a long shot. The so-called mice noises got so loud in the shop ceiling that Chuck could hear them. An exterminator came who was “pretty sure” that the droppings were from mice. He put down some new-fangled traps scented with pheromones and we caught…wait for it: nine (9) bats! This time I got pretty close to hysterical. We were bat killers!

I spent that evening googling everything I could about bats. Did you know that next to rodents, bats are the second most common land mammals? They are an invaluable insect predator, sometimes eating half their body weight in mosquitos. They eat insects that could damage crops and can live to be 20 years old. They have a bad rap about rabies. And finally, they are feeling a housing crunch because their favorite hollow trees, old barns and houses are disappearing.

Thus, we ended up with not one but two colonies of bats in our warm, sheltered shop. They found an entry and exit area where birds had picked holes in the walls. Then I learned that once they nest in your home they will come back to the same place year after year. So, I went looking for a professional who could evict the bats humanely.

Here’s a quick overview of how to evict bats:
    •    Find all outside entrances
    •    Install one-way bat check valves that allow bats to leave but not return.
    •    Leave in place 5-7 days
    •    Check to make sure all bats are gone.
    •    Remove the check valves and seal the entrances.

Sounds easy. Right? Wrong! Fish and Game regulations apply to Oregon bats. The company that we chose came out in mid-August and explained that our bats would soon be migrating to Mexico! They could not be evicted until after the first of Sept. Their babies had to be strong enough to fly with them to hibernate over the winter. Then, they will return next spring to their favorite new home at CG Lake.

This was getting so complicated that it made my head spin. What to do?  Well, one evening around the first of the month, Chuck was out pottying the dogs. Suddenly, he looked up and saw hundreds of bats circling and taking flight. The next day, the bats were gone out of the shop. We had dodged one bullet. Then came the cleanup. If I had more room, I would tell you the process in detail. Suffice it to say that it involved men wearing masks, removing ceiling panels, vacuuming guano, sweeping, sealing holes and quarantining the area.

We were told that the bats have good memories. They will return next year—to our house. So we’re going with a plan to put up bat houses and attract them with some of their saved guano. I’ll let you know how that works out.

 Hasta la vista murciélago!

 Betty Kaiser’s Chatterbox Sept. 2018 

Saturday, September 8, 2018

Military news from Cottage Grove and more

8/29/18 Chatterbox
Betty Kaiser

Colonel Kirsten M. Palmer
I have been following USAF Colonel Kirsten M. Palmer’s career for 20 years. She continues to amaze me. A local girl, Col. Palmer received her commission, as a Second Lieutenant, from the U.S. Air Force Academy in May 1995. Last year she was promoted to a full Colonel after receiving a Master of Science degree in National Resource Strategy with concentration in supply chain management at National Defense Univ., Ft. McNair, Washington, D.C

This year, Kirsten’s parents, Ron and Linda Palmer, were thrilled to learn that a promotion and a new duty station for her will be on the west coast. On Aug. 5, 2018, they, along with other family members and invited friends, attended an Assumption of Command Ceremony for their daughter at McChord Field in Washington State.

Col. Palmer is the new commander of the 446th Maintenance Group, Joint Base Lewis-McChord. She is now responsible for directing all aircraft and equipment maintenance support for three squadrons of C-17 Globemaster III aircraft. She will also oversee the quality and quantity of training for over 400 Reservists, ensuring they are prepared to perform the wing’s mission in peacetime and during combat.  Very impressive.

On the lighter side, her promotion means that for the first time since her career began, her parents will be close enough to often visit Addyson, their now 9-year old granddaughter, and her parents on a regular basis. Another change in the family life is that dad, Col. Roger Lang, a former USAF pilot has retired and is now a pilot for United Airlines. They will be living in Gig Harbor, WA. It doesn’t get much better than that. Congratulations, Kirsten!

On another note, I would like to say a few words about the passing of local resident Leonard Waitman. His military service reads like a page out of Tom Brokaw’s book “The Greatest Generation.” 

Leonard was both a soldier and scholar. His time as a soldier began before his graduation from Grant Union High in Sacramento. The day that WWII was declared, his entire class of seniors went down to enlist. He received his high school diploma while in training and served in the U.S. Army Air Corps, a precursor to the U.S. Air Force.

His obituary related some of his 3 1/2 years of service without liberty in the war zone. At his memorial service those stories came alive. He had first-hand experience with people and situations that we’ve only read about in books: Invasions of countries, aiding Col. Doolittle, Gen. George Patton, blessed by Pope Pious XII, seeing the eruption of Mt. Vesuvius. etc. Each one gave him insights into the real world of war that would be with him forever.

Leonard’s years as a scholar came after the war. His degrees and accomplishments are impressive. His education included both a Bachelor’s and Master’s Degrees and a PhD.  He taught for 32 years and wrote several books. He was a dedicated Christian and served as president of Bethesda Bible College. He and his wife retired to Cottage Grove.

I met Leonard around the time of the 9/11 attacks. He and his fellow Veteran of Foreign Wars buddies were fountains of information for me as I struggled with what was happening and how to communicate it to my readers. A gifted communicator, he was front and center at every CG Memorial Day remembrance ceremony. Our city was blessed for having him amongst us and he will be missed.

I recently read that for many Americans, today’s wars are closer to Reality TV than to reality. War is not at our back door so we’re oblivious. Some of the hotspots around the world where we send our young men and women in the armed forces are Afghanistan, Iraq, Libya, Niger, the Philippines, Somalia and Syria. Many of us don’t know where those countries are or why we are there.

At Leonard Waitman’s memorial, little toy soldiers were given to each person who walked in the door. We were asked to put the soldier in a conspicuous place in our house to remind us that freedom is not free. Somewhere in the world, right now, real people are fighting, dying and being maimed in real battles. The toy soldier can be a reminder to pray for their protection and wisdom on the part of those who send them to war.

Finally, as I put this column to bed, news came over the airwaves that Sen. John McCain has died. He was a good man. Whether you liked or disliked his politics, he served his country well. God rest his soul.

Betty Kaiser’s Chatterbox at  

Friday, August 10, 2018

Mother Nature surprises city girls

8/1/18 Chatterbox
Betty Kaiser

Fish in the trees and Blue Jays in the pond!

As a former city girl, I am constantly amazed at Mother Nature’s surprises. Living in the country has been a whole new learning experience. My latest wildlife encounter had me shaking my head and my heart pounding. It seems worthy of sharing on this hot summer day. Feel free to sit back and laugh at or with me.

First, I am not a fisher woman. The closest I ever came to catching a fish was at the Blue Jay Trout Farm in the San Bernardino Mountains. My family spent a month every summer in nearby Crestline. My grandfather wasn’t a fisherman either but he loved trout. He would pile us kids in the car and off we would go to the trout farm where you paid to fish.

Grandpa said it was the most expensive activity of the summer. There, an employee baited the hook on your fishing pole and the fish would practically leap out of the water into your lap. Fortunately, I not only didn’t have to bait the hook but someone else took the slimy, squirming fish off the line and into the bucket for me.

Fast forward a few decades and I’m living at C.G. Lake where fishing is a regular pastime. But not me. I’m more like someone out of a Justin Moore Country song: I can’t even bait a hook. That all sort of changed a couple of weeks ago. A strong wind had blown through our six acres of trees and branches were scattered on the deck and under the trees closest to the house.

I got busy with my rake and wheelbarrow and began cleaning up. That’s when I saw what looked like a 12-inch log covered in mulch about 3 ft. inside the tree line. I went over to pick it up and it moved! It was breathing. Yikes! I practically jumped out of my jeans!

I gently nudged it with a stick and it rolled over and fanned out what looked like tail feathers. A bird? And it was still alive? Eek! I ran into the house, filled the tea kettle, dashed outside and poured water over the “bird.” Well, the bird was a fish and its gills were opening and closing. I had to rescue it!

I covered the fish with a damp cloth, laid it in a box, grabbed the car keys and drove over to the lake. At the boat ramp, I gently put the fish in the water, it briefly swam a few inches and was still. A fisherman was nearby with his little girl. I asked him if he knew anything about fish. Duh. Of course, he did. He was fishing in the lake.

I told him my fish story and could tell that he thought I was a few bricks short of a load. Finally, he got curious, came over and said, “Doggone, it’s a Catfish.” (Or something like that.) He called his daughter over to check it out as he nudged it into deeper water. The fish, however, had other ideas and kept coming back onto shore!

The fisherman asked me where I found it. I told him it was covered in mulch under the trees but came alive when I poured water on it from a tea kettle. I still didn’t know how it got there. Then it dawned on me. There’s an osprey nest nearby. Sometimes other birds try to steal their fish when they’re coming home. Perhaps there was a tussle and he dropped it on our property—but 3 ft. under the trees?

By this time my fisherman’s daughter is asking questions and he is describing the fish as identified it by its whiskers. Then, hoping to get rid of me, he assured me that my fish was going to be fine and I drove home—still shaking— to ponder what had happened.

Later, I was telling this story to my friend Emily who proceeded to confound me with her own Mother Nature story. She lives in a house on a city lot in Eugene. Her backyard has a nice big deck overlooking a little stream that runs into a pond. A small Blue Jay (slightly handicapped because of a chopped off tail!) has been frequenting the pond to drink water and check out the tadpoles.

One day while Emily was relaxing outside, she noticed that the tadpoles were now frogs. Suddenly, a HUGE Bullfrog leaped out of the water, jumped on her bluebird and swallowed its entire head!  Emily leaped into action and eventually was able to free her bird’s head from the bullfrog. The frog dove back into the pond and the bird has never been seen again. Emily will never trust her bullfrogs again. Evidently, they are carnivores and will even eat their own young. That’s Mother Nature at work. We city girls sure have a lot to learn.

 Contact Betty Kaiser’s Chatterbox by email

Thursday, July 12, 2018

U.S. Immigration needs the wisdom of Solomon

7/4/18 Chatterbox
Betty Kaiser
"On the 4th of July, my patriotic heart 
beats red, white and blue.”

This quote (source unknown) pretty much sums up how I feel every year on the anniversary of the signing of the Declaration of Independence.

This year, as a proud American citizen, I am also saddened by the current asylum/immigration situation in our beloved country. It’s a mess. Our country was not prepared to deal with the thousands of people wanting to cross our borders illegally for work and family safety. We have never seen anything of this magnitude. The children situation is worthy of the wisdom of Solomon.

The Declaration of Independence (for the most part) does not address immigration. The document is profoundly basic: Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness if you don’t do anything illegal or violate the rights of others. When this was written in 1776, it is estimated there were about 2.5 million people living in the 13 colonies. They probably never envisioned a nation of 327 million residents.

Illegal immigrants have always tested our entry rules but now we have a lot of unhappy U.S. citizens doing the same. The uproar is over the separation of illegal immigrant families. As I sat mulling over recent headlines, I wondered how our founding fathers would respond to this dilemma.  I also realized how little I know about immigration laws in the U.S. or other countries.

Before moving to Oregon, my husband and I were 50 year residents and business owners in Calif. We employed Mexican workers who were holders of green cards issued by the U.S. To be a resident and work in this country (legally) one needs a green card proving their identity and status. As employers, we knew that we would get in trouble if we hired illegal employees. They complied with the laws and so did we.

I haven’t thought much about green card holders and illegal immigration since moving to Oregon but suddenly, immigration is a hot news topic all over the world. Now, thousands of people from war-torn, gang ridden or famine situations are leaving their homelands and seeking refuge for safe living in other countries everywhere.

So, I Googled a few questions to gain a current perspective on immigration here and around the world. The top 10 countries accepting the most immigrants in 2015 were:
The United States, 1,051,000
Germany, 686,000
The United Kingdom, 378,800
Canada, 271,800
France, 256,500
Australia, 226,22
Spain, 194,900
Italy, 160,900
The Netherlands, 146,800
Switzerland, 131,000.

According to the US News, our 1,051,000 figure does not include migration to the U.S. by other means. We are the top country for immigration in the world. We are also the top refugee resettlement country with most refugees coming from Myanmar, Iraq, Somalia, the Democratic Republic of Congo and Bhutan. Our foreign-born population is 13.3 percent.

Immigration deals with the transit of people across its borders but especially those that intend to work and stay in that country. Rules are different everywhere but always confusing. The U.S. Immigration and Naturalization Act (INA) provides for the U.S., an annual worldwide limit of 675,000 permanent immigrants, with some exceptions for close family members.

Legal immigrants to the U.S. number about 1,000,000 per year of whom about 600,000 are already in the U.S. The total legal immigrants living here are now at their highest level ever— just over 37 million. There are also about 11 million undocumented immigrants living in the U.S. The American Immigration Council says that—both documented and undocumented—contribute billions of dollars in taxes every year.

If you are from a foreign country you must have a Permanent Resident or Green Card to live and work in the U.S. A green card is a photo ID permit that allows you to stay here as long as you want. You may also apply for a Social Security Number.

There is a difference between a green card and a visa. With a visa, your permanent residence is outside the U.S. It is a temporary pass for a specific period of time. In both visa and green cards, you remain the citizen of another country. Therefore, you do not have the rights of a U.S. citizen. i.e. to vote in elections, apply for a U.S. passport, etc. There are also serious consequences for criminal behavior.

There is so much more to say about this subject but these are the answers that helped me understand the basics of immigration. I could find no mandates to separate families. I hope this is as helpful to you as it has been to me as we go down this path of uncertainty.

Despite our problems, we are blessed to live in America. Together, like generations before us, we can work through the uncertainties of this era with grit and determination; respect for the law and different opinions while helping others and our country.

We can also pray for the wisdom of Solomon to enlighten us all in decision making. May God help us all!

Contact Betty Kaiser’s Chatterbox  

Monday, June 11, 2018

Pahoa Hawii, paradise erupts!

6/6/18 Chatterbox
Betty Kaiser

Paradise erupts!

This column brings you greetings from Pat Deter, a former Cottage Grove resident, who is now living in Pahoa, Hawaii. I’ll let that sink in for a moment. Yes, she is now living in the small town on the big island next to the exploding Kilauea volcano. It began erupting in early May, destroying everything in its path including Pat’s new home and all her belongings. It shows no signs of stopping.

Pat and her husband Ralph were my CG neighbors but they raised their family in Whittier, Calif. Ralph was a lithographer and after serving in the Navy, he bought a print shop. Pat worked alongside him until she went to work as a bookkeeper for the Red Cross. She says that they brain washed her to become a volunteer!

In 1994, the couple retired, sold their business and moved to CG Lake. It wasn’t long before their little red car was zooming up and down the hill to volunteer tasks in town. They were members of Prospectors and Golddiggers who are known for raising money for non-profit organizations. Ralph belonged to the local Masonic Lodge and Pat, the Eastern Star. He was a driver for So. Lane Wheels; she was a hospital volunteer and a member of the Episcopal church. They were also excellent neighbors.

Ralph died suddenly in 2014. Pat continued to live in their house in the woods with her cats and a new dog. During this time, her daughters Debbie and Vickie moved to Hawaii and suggested that she do the same. It was tempting. Last year, at 88 years old, she made the decision to move and put her house on the market. It sold and she began preparations to move to paradise.

Moving to rabies-free Hawaii is complicated if you have animals. There are many hoops to jump through and it takes lots of dollars to prove that your pets are rabies free. Fortunately, Pat has the patience of a saint (and some good friends). She also had the foresight to buy a fully furnished house sight unseen. Then there was the garage sale of a lifetime and packing up the rest. Finally, she breathed a sigh of relief and boarded an airplane in March with her cats and dog for a new life of leisure on the big island. Or so she thought.

Hundreds of earthquakes woke up Pahoa in early May. Pat said the 6.9 quake really shook everyone up. Then the volcano blew up and massive lava flows began. The earthquakes continue to come every hour. Pat lived in Leilani Estates, one mile from the downhill lava flow. A voluntary evacuation was announced. Her daughter Vickie called her to pack an overnight bag—a change of clothes, robe, nightgown and medicine.

They were headed for her Vickie’s house on higher ground. Pat said it was like a war zone and they decided to leave the cats and pick them up the next day. Before they left there was a mandatory evacuation so the cats had to be pulled out from under the bed.

Later, a couple drove by her house and noticed the patio furniture on the lanai. They packed it all up including a large television and put it in storage at their house for her return. A local Eastern Star group gave her a generous contribution to buy clothes. Everyone was looking out for each other.

Suddenly, the lava came and destroyed her house. The last shipment of boxes from Oregon was unpacked prior to the lava flow. She lost everything. All important papers, birth certificates, banking information, phone numbers (no cell phone), computer were all gone. Most precious were her pictures of Ralph. Her granddaughter in Calif. put out a plea on Facebook for anyone who knew her grandparents and had photos of them to contact her. She’s had a good response.

New cracks bubbling with lava are everywhere. Housing is scarce. In some places, three families are crowded together under one roof. Amazingly, a lady Pat didn’t know offered to take her and her pets in to live with her for as long as needed. Her daughters and husbands are under evacuation and looking for housing.

Pat has not gone back to her former home site but she has been told that there is a lava wall eight feet high, that looks like black popcorn and is razor sharp. No house. Through it all, she has had a great attitude. How does she stay calm?  Here’s what she said when I asked. Notice her sense of humor:

“There’s nothing I can do about it. There’s no end in sight. They can’t predict when it will stop. I’m grateful that I have my animals and a place to stay where I’m welcome as long as needed. My insurance is providing living expenses. I’m okay. And I have a whole new wardrobe.”

The real meaning of Aloha in Hawaiian 
is that of Love, Peace, and Compassion. 
Aloha” to Pat and all those in Pahoa.

Contact Betty Kaiser’s Chatterbox at

Friday, May 18, 2018

Grandmother and Me

5/9/18 Chatterbox
Betty Kaiser

My grandmother and me

I was six years old when I was adopted into my “forever family.”  They quickly learned that I was a child who loved to talk and ask questions. They nicknamed me the Chatterbox. The 1940s were an era when children were supposed to be seen and not heard. So, I grew up with many unanswered questions about my new family and life in general.

My grandmother was probably my favorite person in the family. I had never known another grandmother and she became my anchor in every storm. She never raised her voice and always had time for me. In stature, she was short (4’11” tall), round and cherubic looking. In the style of the era, she always wore a house dress, an apron, stockings and sturdy shoes. She was always baking, cooking, working.

Grandma and Grandpa lived in a big Spanish style house where he grew a Victory Garden. My parents, sister, brother and I lived across the street. Our quiet neighborhood was high in the hills above Los Angeles before it became a mecca for the world. Sundays, we all went to church. Always. After Sunday supper, Grandpa and I went to evening services where I was a violin soloist.

I often walked to grandma’s house just to chat, eat a cookie warm from the oven, cry on her shoulder, feel her love and soak in her wisdom. If I was having a hard day at school she would smile, pat me on the back and say, “This, too, shall pass.” I would go home happy.

Cora Mae was born in Missouri in 1894 and married J.D. Rush from Texas when she was only 14 years old! Three years later their only child Portia LaVaughn was born. Their little family lived many places in the mid-west before moving to Mexico where grandpa was an oil field roustabout before settling in California. It was a hard life.

Looking back, I realize that I thought my grandmother could do anything. An expert seamstress, I watched her create beautiful quilts, doll clothes, church and prom dresses. She canned fruits and vegetables, entertained large groups and cooked scrumptious meals topped off with hand cranked ice cream on homemade pies.

 She had also lived through two world wars; experienced women being given the right to vote and endured the Great Depression. Technology advances made her life easier. Things we take for granted: radio, electric refrigerators (formerly ice boxes), frozen food (remember Bird’s Eye?) and television opened a whole new world. She never learned how to drive.

In March 1957, Grandpa was taken to the hospital and not expected to live. I spent that night with grandma. She made it clear that she didn’t want to live without her husband. She was hospitalized and died quickly. Grandpa shortly after. I was 18 years old and It was the shock of my young life. But she trained me well. Life would go on.

I loved my grandparents but I poured out my heart to grandma. Selfishly, our relationship in life was all about me. What I was feeling. How I was doing. What I wanted to do with my life. Now, I look back and wonder why I didn’t ask more questions about her life. I wonder what her hopes, aspirations and frustrations were. What events had shaped her life to be a perfect grandmother?

As this Mother’s Day approaches, I would encourage you to remember that life is short. If your grandmother or mother are still alive you are blessed. Don’t miss any opportunity to get to know them better. They are special. Ask them about their lives as children and young adults. Find out what shaped them to become the people they are today. They will be thrilled that you care enough to ask and you will have memories to pass on to the next generation.

In retrospect, here is a short list of questions that I would ask Cora Mae, my wonderful grandmother:

1.   What were your parents like?
2.   Growing up what did you do for fun?
3.   Where did you go to school?
4.   Did you graduate from high school?
5.   Did you have any special dreams for your life?
6.   Where did you meet grandpa?
7.   Why did you get married so young?
8.   Did you have a wedding?
9.   Who was your best friend?
10.What was it like living in Mexico?
11. What was the worst time of life?
11. What was your favorite time of life?
12. If you could have one wish granted what would it be?
13. What is your greatest joy?
14. Would you do anything over again?
15. Was I your favorite grandchild? (Please say ‘yes’!)

Happy Mother’s Day to all mothers and grandmothers!

Contact Betty Kaiser’s Chatterbox at

Saturday, April 21, 2018

Crosses to bear

4/11/18 Chatterbox

Every generation has its cross to bear

Scientific studies suggest that we remember best the things that happen between the ages of 15 and 25 years old. Researchers in this sort of data call it a “reminiscence bump.” It includes remembering everything from your first kiss to public events. If that is true, today’s young adults are certainly going to remember a time when it was frightening to go to school. Good for them for taking their “never again” cause to the streets! Sadly, it is their cross to bear.

I can vividly remember where I was and what I was doing when certain things happened in those early years of innocence. In this new social media era, victims are being publically targeted and bullied or silently stalked to a violent end. People get so angry they plot how to mow down their neighbors. There's always a cross to bear.

My point of bringing up this subject is not only because of recent atrocities. It’s because those of us over the age of 50 have also had front row seats to all kinds of terrorism and violence in our lifetimes. I interact daily with people who feel like they’re suffering from PTSD, remembering wars and other evils. We seem powerless to stop the madness.

According to a Washington Post article, the United States is NOT the most violent country in the world. It just seems like it. (Think Mexico, Honduras, Kyrgyzstan.) However, in comparison to other rich, capitalist democracies, we have a society where an unusual number of people die violently yearly. A cross to bear? Or a problem to solve?

So, come along with me on a little walk down memory lane. Senior citizens will recognize and remember where you were when these so-called incidents happened. Unfortunately, we had front row seats to most of these tragedies. Still, the violence goes on.

I vividly remember the day that President John F. Kennedy was assassinated in Nov. 22, 1963, I was barely in my 20s and driving my sweet pre-school daughter home from having her birthday photo taken in Inglewood, Calif.  As the news of J.F.K.’s death came over the radio, traffic visibly slowed and it was obvious that we drivers were all in shock. Our nation mourned together. We were glued to our television sets for days and the images of a mourning country are imprinted on our hearts forever.

This year was the 50th anniversary of the death of Martin Luther King, Jr. Who can forget his “I have a Dream speech during the march on Washington? Because of him, the Civil Rights Act of 1964 ended segregation in public places and banned employment discrimination based on race, color, religion, sex or nationality. MLK was the most important voice of the movement.  He was 39 when he was shot and killed on April 4, 1968. His death was a shot in the heart of the movement.

Two months later, Senator Robert F. Kennedy, the late president’s brother, was assassinated. He died at 42, after being gunned down by an assassin at the Ambassador Hotel in Los Angeles. Another deranged shooter. His killer, Sirhan Sirhan, is considered one of our first terrorists and is still in jail! That’s not fair either.

The on-going Vietnam Conflict was never officially declared a war but it lasted nearly 20 years. On May 4, 1970, brave Kent State University students protested the war in a bloody clash with the Ohio National Guard. Four students were killed and their protest became the focal point of our country’s division. The war ended five years later. PTSD goes on forever.

April 19, 1995, I was jolted awake by the radio news of the Oklahoma City bombing. Timothy McVeigh and Terry Nichols decided to bomb the Alfred P. Murrah Federal Building where 168 people were killed (including 15 children) and 680+ were wounded. Why? Because they were angry at the federal government. McVeigh and Nichols are alive but in prison.

I think that the whole world watched the Sept. 11, 2001 attacks on the World Trade Center, killing 2,977 victims. Those 19 Islamic extremists seem to set the bone chilling tone for the 21st century. Lives were lost and trust broken to never be regained. The madness goes on.

Each of these horrible incidents happened in a different decade. Mankind never seems to learn, compromise or change. The perpetrators never show remorse. It seems that angry humans always have a reason to kill one another. Every generation has that cross to bear.

The Apostle John said, “Little children love one another.” Love and acceptance begin with you and me at home, on the freeway and at school or work. It’s good advice. Always be considerate and respectful. And if we can’t get along, that’s why we have laws. Obey them. God help us all!

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Wednesday, February 21, 2018

A hearwarming love story

Shirley and Herald are newlyweds!

2/14/18 Chatterbox
Betty Kaiser

This is a love story that will warm your heart. It is a whirlwind romance that is pure enchantment in every detail. The bride and groom are adorable octogenarians who are still young at heart. The new bride says that their story is proof that “God works in mysterious ways….”

Last year, Shirley McDaniel and Herald Callison celebrated Valentine’s Day at a church dinner—separately. They were acquaintances but not sweethearts. Both were now widowed but they and their families had belonged to Cottage Grove Bible Church for about 29 years. During that time, they had established respect and rapport for each other through casual meetings in his Bible classes and her service as a Deaconess.

Shirley was born in West Virginia but met her first husband Aaron McDaniel at a Bible College in North Carolina. They had four children together—Sue Allen, Veronica, Dennis and Jennifer. That now includes 15 grandchildren and 7 great-grandchildren. During Aaron’s ministry career, they lived in many places before they moved to Cottage Grove in 1987. Here, Shirley worked for Operation Independence for 18 years. They had been married 49 years when Aaron passed away in 2008.

 Shirley, now 81, had been a widow for 9 years. She had not thought about re-marriage—at least not much. She kept busy with her work, family, church and travels to visit her extensive family across the country. In fact, she had told Pastor Singer that she was planning a trip to Nicaragua to stay awhile with her sister. She loves to travel.

Herald was born in Santa Rosa, Calif. but later moved to Portland, OR where he married Rosalee Schmidt. They had three children together—Kathy, Douglas and Melvin. Four grandsons and 3 great-grandchildren came along later. They moved to C.G. in 1985. Rosalee was a longtime kindergarten teacher at Oak Park Christian School. Herald was an electrical engineer and retired from Kimwood in 1995. Rosalee passed away in 2013 after 59 years of marriage.

Herald, now 87, was busy but lonely. He decided to have a talk with Pastor Singer who asked him if he had thought about getting married again. Herald nodded his head yes and the pastor asked whom he was interested in. The answer came quickly—Shirley McDaniel. “Well,” the pastor said, “She’s about to leave town. You’d better get with it!” Herald wasted no time in complying. Shirley was clueless what was coming.

That next Sunday, Shirley and another couple joined Herald for lunch at his house. After the other couple left, Herald asked Shirley to stay—and he proposed marriage! He recalls blurting it out because…there was no time to waste. Shirley was shocked but replied, “Let me think about it.” Three days later she called, accepted his proposal. She momentarily wondered “what have I done?” Followed by, “Goody, goody!”

And that was that. When I asked, “How did the first date go?” They burst out laughing and said, “There wasn’t one.”

The next week at church the pastor announced that Shirley was getting married. I’m told that everyone looked around and said, “Who’s she marrying?” Herald stood up and said, “Me!” The congregation erupted in laughter and applause. Pastor Singer now has the title of matchmaker. In the space of a two-week courtship there were no naysayers. His family had been encouraging him to ask her. Her family didn’t have the foggiest idea what was going on but were thrilled.

They chose July 8, 2017 as the wedding date—just a few months away. Everyone pitched in. His daughter made the cake. Her daughters helped with the planning and organizing. They used the punch bowl set from Shirley’s first wedding and all the attendants were (of course) family. Everyone played a part. Even the photographer was family. It was, as the bride said, “A really big deal!”

On their wedding day, the bride wore a gorgeous lace wedding gown and the groom wore a striking navy-blue suit. The dress and suit were purchased in Florence at a Goodwill store! Seeing Herald’s face light up at his first glimpse of his bride is priceless. I am told the ceremony was warm, loving and hilarious as pastor admitted his ‘meddling’ in setting the couple up. They said their vows, slipped on their wedding rings and were pronounced husband and wife.

Shirley’s smile says it all. Single no more, they happily walked back up the aisle as husband and wife. After the reception, they jumped into a 1952 Chevy truck (it was Herald’s dad’s) for the honeymoon. As they drove away to life’s next chapter, “Just Married” was on the window, tin cans were clanging and a bright future ahead.

Congratulations, Mr. and Mrs. Callison! God knew what He was doing and the best is yet to come!

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