4/25/12 Chatterbox
Betty Kaiser
This spring I had what Oprah Winfrey calls an “Aha!”
Moment.” Now in Oprah’s world, those are profound, unforgettable times when
suddenly your world changes as you connect-the-dots, recognize the solution to
a problem and become a wiser, better person because you know how to proceed in
life.
My “Aha! Moment” was more mundane. In fact, it was pretty
utilitarian. It simply involved spring-cleaning.
I looked around at my house one fine spring day and said,
“This place is a cluttered mess. I’ve got to get organized.” The problem was simple—too much stuff.
The solution was more complicated because in many ways—I live with the past and
I hate letting go.
My Depression era mentality doesn’t like to let go of things
that have history, touch my heart, aren’t torn, worn, broken, out of style or
could possibly be used or re-fashioned. In other words, I like to hold on to my
stuff and anything made of memories.
Over time, my collections become my friends. I can remember
exactly where I purchased that little green vase that is perched way at the
back of the cupboard (at a garage sale). I keep it because looks great with
daffodils on St. Patrick’s Day. The extra teacups, candlesticks and
knick-knacks serve much the same questionable purpose but all are safely stored
away for emergencies…
I fully realized how much stuff I had collected when I ran
into a storage problem in the kitchen. Suddenly I had too many dishes,
glassware, pots n pans and utensils—but not enough room in the kitchen
cabinets. They were all packed to the gills. I had to de-clutter. The question
was—where do I begin?
Completely clueless, I swallowed my pride and called my
decorator friend and said, “Help!” She giggled and intimated that she had been
waiting for my call. Evidently my glass front cabinets weren’t hiding any
secrets.
Her first question to me was, “Do you really need 22 dinner
plates in that cupboard?” And so it went until I grudgingly agreed to remove
the excess stuff and pack it away for our next garage sale. Now the shelves are
artfully arranged and they no longer look like Old Mrs. Hubbard’s cupboards.
Next I tackled the refrigerator doors. Over a period of
years, our grandsons have sent us multiple photos of themselves playing various
sports. All of them were dutifully posted on the frig. As the kids aged, so did
the photos. I love pictures but there was no more room in the inn. What to do?
I finally bit the bullet, took an afternoon off and put the
photos in albums, leaving only ONE photo of each child on the frig. Now when
the boys come their pictures are still on display and when I die their photos
will all be in one place for them to cherish!
I did the same thing with the growing number of framed
photos on the wall in my office. I had hung so many pictures that it looked
liked the “Wanted” posters at the post office. Now there is only one picture of
each family with a few smaller ones on a display table. (I just can’t go cold
turkey…).
Pictures are personal and usually keepers. Other things are
not. So I started asking myself these questions: Are you collecting or
hoarding? Will you really ever use that again? How about just temporarily
putting it away? Will you miss it?
Walking around the house, I noticed that my teddy bear
collection was beginning to reach epic toy store proportions. I started
collecting bears for the boys to play with when they were small. Now I was the
only one playing with them!
I decided the lonesome bears needed new homes and kids to
play with. I filled two 35-gallon garbage bags with dozens of collectible rag
dolls, Beanie Babies and teddy bears of all sizes. Then I donated them to the
Relief Nursery. Some of the bears were sneaky and hid in the closet. Now we
have baby bears and it’s time to do it again.
Along with hoarding teddy bears, my linen closet tells me
that I have been hoarding out-of-date tablecloths, placemats, worn towels, blankets,
quilts and more. I am very rich in linens that don’t fit anything or go
anywhere. Why am I keeping them? They gotta go!
The hardest thing to let go of was cards, notes and letters.
Coming from the era of pen and paper correspondence, I had stuffed dozens of
large manila envelopes with cherished notes dating back to the 1950s. It was
ridiculous to keep all of them. So I began to weed.
It took me several days to go through the envelopes.
Eventually I decided not to keep any generic store-bought cards that were
signed, “Love, XXX.” That lightened the load considerably. But I kept most of
the hand written letters from family and friends in special boxes to read and
re-read. They are the true treasures of my heart.
Now here’s my new mantra that gives me permission to yearly
get rid of the old stuff that’s weighing me down: “Choosing what you want to
live with will give you a clear sense of who you are now—as opposed to who you
were five or ten years.” Wisdom from author Xorin Balbes
I like that. In fact, I got so inspired that I went upstairs
and cleaned out my cosmetics drawer. Now I really have a sense that I’m not who
I was five or ten years ago!
Betty Kaiser’s Chatterbox is about people,
places, family, and other matters of the heart.
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