Today I was in a store that sells sunglasses, and only sunglasses. A young lady walked over to me and asked, "What brings you in today? I looked at her and said, "I'm interested in buying a refrigerator. " She didn't quite know how to respond!
When people see a cat's litter box they always say, "Oh, have you got a cat?" Just once I want to say, "No, it's for company!"
Aging: Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.
The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight because by then your body and your fat have gotten to be really good friends.
Some people try to turn back their "odometers." Not me. I want people to know WHY I look this way. I've traveled a long way and a lot of the roads were not paved.